Ode to Ramona
I’ve been wanting to write about Ramona. Not her ailments, but her. Only, the ailments have been eclipsing the sun for almost a year now. Her recent pain began August 10, 2008 (I remember being in the hospital on my birthday, August 11th). And now, ten months and 5 surgeries later, she’s still in pain. All of 6th grade was swallowed in recovery. Along with her many illnesses and physical struggles comes confusion about who Ramona is. She is very slow to respond, so strangers, friends and some family think she is a “pretty house with nobody home”. She really is a “pretty house”, in fact the prettiest I’ve seen up close (and those others are all air-brushed), but as for the “nobody home” part, I shall expand your horizons.
There are no tests that can measure Ramona’s intelligence because of the difficulty that she has in almost all physical expression, therefore, we assume she has solved string theory. As for day to day life, she has an opinion about all things and when presented with her options her preference is clear (either by answering “yes” by saying “eye”, “no” by sticking out her tongue, or by touching the preferred object). She picks what she’ll wear, eat, listen to, etc. Every time I buy her new clothes I have to return half of them because she just doesn’t like them. I’ve never met anyone so open to almost all foods and so picky about music . She likes spicy foods and is willing to try anything (so very Rob-like). Her music taste is limited but, thankfully, rockin’. Some of her favs are Ben Folds, Coldplay (not the new album, except Viva la Vida), Colin Hay, Dido, Frou Frou and Guster.
One of Ramona’s most admirable traits is her positive attitude. These days if you ask her if she feels well the answer is always “no”, but if you ask her if she’s happy the answer is almost always “yes”. She has a great sense of humor and will often carry a sly grin or slight laugh at the subtle or ironic humor around her. However, the real belly laughs come when someone farts. Because of her hearty reaction to farts, we have taken up the disgusting habit of “dedicating” all farts to Ramona. This also delights her. On that note, a favorite website is http://www.misternicehands.com
Ramona is the most patient and impatient person alive. My mother once told me that, “Ramona will learn patience in a way that none of us ever will.” It’s true. Imagine never being able to scratch an itch or tell exactly “where it hurts”. She waits her whole life for someone to guess what she wants or needs. Even if one of us guesses what she needs it is likely only a general version of what she wants. For example, I will figure out that she’s hungry and give her a few choices of what to eat. These choices may include what she really wants or, more likely, not. She has to eat, but her cravings are rarely identified. However, on those rare occasions when we suggest something she really wants, that’s when the impatience kicks in. The second someone let’s slip that she might want to take a shower (a favorite activity) or go for a drive (another favorite) she starts yelling and whining and moaning. The “moaning” has lead to her nick-name “Mons and Groans” (there are many others, including Mony and Moe). She can really pitch a fit if she knows we know what she wants and we aren’t providing it fast enough. Understandable, but really annoying sometimes. I do not look forward to the day when I am made aware of all the things I’ve guessed wrong.
Ramona is the most peace-providing person I know. When I am feeling down I often want to be with her. She centers me and reminds me of what is really important. Just by existing she teaches me (and others) to deny all that is false in this world. The world teaches me about judgement and self-loathing…about competition and jealousy…mostly about selfishness. Ramona teaches me about service and love. Just by existing.
I think she is a beautiful and complex miracle. I am thankful, to my Maker, every day for the privilege of being her mother. Even on the hard days (which are most days now).
